


IRL

by bluestbluetoeverblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Online Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5573359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestbluetoeverblue/pseuds/bluestbluetoeverblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which online friends Dean and Castiel have never met (or so they think).</p>
            </blockquote>





	IRL

“We agreed to love each other madly.” ― Jack Kerouac, On the Road

 

Dean Winchester did not usually care about being late, but on this particular morning, it was a problem. One more tardy meant detention, and Dean didn’t need to get grounded this week. It was Sam pounding on the door that woke him when his alarm failed to. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a leather jacket, not bothering to attempt a shower. After a slight detour to the kitchen to grab a Poptart--breakfast is the most important meal of the day you know--the Winchester boys were headed for school. 

It wasn’t until first period that Dean got a chance to pull out his phone and open Clash of Worlds. When Charlie first convinced Dean to make an account, he had been dubious, but the game was even more addicting than she had suggested. He had also found some cool people to play with, though there was only one he messaged about things other than the game.

offeringmyconfusion26: good morning >>> headed to school good luck on your bio test

“Okay people, phones away,” Mr. Shurley said from the front of the room, eyeing Dean especially.

Dean slipped his phone into his pocket, still smiling. If offeringmyconfusion knew him in real life, they probably wouldn’t be friends. He was so refined with his art and love for books, not to mention the way he always seemed to say the right thing without saying much at all. There wasn’t anyone, even Charlie, that Dean could talk to like offeringmyconfusion. They may have never met, but Dean felt like they had known each other for years. And he didn’t even know the guy’s name.

***

Castiel was showered, dressed, and eating a bowl of cheerios when he turned on his computer and logged in. He said good morning to the only person on his friends list and waited for a reply. Gabriel shuffled into small dining nook, yawning as he poured his own breakfast. 

“Messaging your boyfriend, Cassy?” Gabriel asked before shoving a spoonful of lucky charms into his mouth.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Castiel replied, rolling his eyes. 

“Are we debating Castiel’s relationship with his internet boyrfiend again?” Anna asked as she walked in.

“No we are not,” Castiel said, trying to avoid looking back at his computer.

“Come on, Castiel,” Anna said, “your usernames are quotes from the same book, your favorite book, I might add, you message each other constantly, and you’re gonna tell me you aren’t just a little hooked on this guy?”

“For the millionth time, we are just friends.” 

“Mhm. Whatever you say.” Anna rolled her eyes. “Now come on, I have to be there early today.” 

Castiel typed a quick message before abandoning his breakfast for Anna’s half-broken-down car. The ride was a continuation of his siblings’ teasing, but once they reached the school, Gabriel headed for his own class and Anna went to talk to Bela Talbot. Castiel took a seat and stole a glance at his phone. No response, but everythingaheadofme was probably already in school. Castiel figured he would try again at lunch and zipped the phone into his bag, looking up as Mr. Shurley started to lecture. 

***

“It’s going to be great,” Bela insisted. She didn’t need to convince Dean. He was always up for a party, and Bela and Jo never suggested a dull night. Friday was Valentine’s Day, which meant his parents would be out at some almost nice restaurant and he would be at a semi exclusive party thrown by the most popular unpopular kids at school. He assured the girls he would be there.

As soon as Dean got home, he abandoned his homework and headed for the computer. He had somehow managed to get stuck driving Jo off campus for lunch, which meant no texting. He logged onto Clash of Worlds, ignored the various challenges that popped up, and opened the messenger. A green check appeared, suggesting that they had finally managed to login at the same time.

everythingaheadofme124: sorry, hectic day

offeringmyconfusion26: no problem :) how’s it going?

everythingaheadofme124: not bad. lots of schoolwork i’m ignoring 

offeringmyconfusion26: how you don’t die of stress i will never understand. any plans for valentine’s?

everythingaheadofme124: my friends are throwing a party (stereotypical, i know) how about you?

offeringmyconfusion26: everyone in my house will probably be out on dates, so i’ll stay home and read (boring, i know)

everythingaheadofme124: i don’t know, i wouldn’t mind staying in to read with you

Dean cringed. That was by far the worst line he had ever used on anyone. Why did he even use a line? This was his friend, not some girl from school.

offeringmyconfusion26: sounds good to me

***

Castiel reread the conversation after everythingaheadofme signed off to eat dinner. Somehow, they had gone from Valentine’s Day to what Castiel wanted to do after school (anthropology and/or visual art) to everythingaheadofme’s relationship with his family. Castiel had never talked with anyone like this before. He had never had a friend who opened up about their deepest thoughts--at least what Castiel imagined were everythingaheadofme’s deepest thoughts. He had never told anyone about how much he missed his parents or how terrified he was of the future. Not until he met everythingaheadofme. Well, met was not exactly the right word. 

It killed Castiel wondering whether they would ever really meet. He didn’t even know where everythingaheadofme lived, how old he really was, what he looked like, yet Castiel felt a warmth spread through him every time his message icon popped up. He struggled to keep from checking his phone at all hours of the day and night. Even Charlie was convinced that Castiel was “crushing hard” on someone, but Castiel refused to tell her, afraid of unforeseeable consequences. Caution had always been his strongsuit, and he would not give it up just because he was…crushing hard.

***

“If you’re going to be out later than one, call to let us know.”

“I will,” Dean said for what seemed like the thousandth time. His parents were dressed up and ready for their annual date night. Dean was equally ready for his first night out since before winter break (a certain prank involving some itching powder and Sam’s boxers had left him grounded for most of January). 

“Please, Dean, if you do drink-”

“Which we don’t approve of,” John cut in. Mary noded before continuing. 

“Do not drive home under any circumstances. And don’t let your friends.” 

“I know, Mom. I’ll be safe. I promise.”

Mary gave her son a serious look and kissed his cheek before making her way out the door. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang, and Dean grabbed his jacket. He had discovered long ago that Charlie was the best date to parties. She didn’t drink, knew how to stop her friends from drinking too much, and made a great wingman. Dean, of course, had always returned the favor until Charlie fell head over heels for Dorothy, who was now a freshman at Arizona State. If anyone could survive a long distance relationship, it was Charlie.

“Hey Dean-O, ready for a party?” the redhead asked when he opened the door.

“Abso-freakin-lutely.” He turned to the staircase. “Sammy, I’m leaving. Don’t wait up!” Within seconds, Sam was standing beside them in a dress shirt. “Got a hot Valentine’s date?” Dean asked, laughing. 

“I’m coming to the party,” Sam said as if it were obvious.

“I’m sorry?” Dean said.

“Jess is gonna be there, and Charlie invited me.” Dean looked to his best friend. 

“What can I say,” she shrugged. “I’m a romantic.” Thirteen years of friendship thrown away by inviting his little brother. What a betrayal.

“Well come on then,” Dean fake-sighed. During the ride, Sam was visibly nervous.

“Relax, Sam, you’re gonna be fine,” Charlie said, glancing towards the backseat.

“Just don’t drink anything,” Dean instructed. “The girl doesn’t need you throwing up on her.” Sam groaned.

***

After the third ring of the doorbell, Castiel figured he had the house to himself. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, however, he realized that he was far from alone. The downstairs of the house was filling with people, some of whom he recognized from school. He hurried into the kitchen, where Anna was helping Gabriel arrange an assortment of alcohol.

“What’s going on?” Castiel demanded, more confused than surprised.

“What’s it look like?” Anna laughed. 

“It looks like a party.”

“Ding ding, we have a winner,” Gabe yelled, tossing his brother a bag of plastic cups. “Set those out on the counter, will ya?”

“Balthazar said we could have some people over since he’s going out of town with Josie,” Anna explained. 

“And no one thought to ask me if I minded our house being flooded with people?” 

“You would have been outvoted anyway.”

***

Dean had left Charlie to debate the newest technology update with Ash and found his way to the kitchen-turned-bar. After a conversation with Bela (“Didn’t I say this party was going to be great?”) punctuated by handfuls of chips, Dean set out to check on Sam--who was last seen approaching a group of freshmen that included a girl with an abundance of blonde curls--pulling out his phone on the way.

offeringmyconfusion26: have i mentioned how much i hate surprises? you’re probably busy but i’m having a pretty lousy night

Before Dean could respond, he was caught in the dining room by Lisa, an attractive girl with russet eyes who had been the only reason he survived both chemistry and biology. 

“Hey partner,” she said, grinning. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“What for?” Dean grinned back. This was an unexpected development.

“Charlie said you wanted to talk.” 

“Really?” Dean laughed. Of course.

“Mhm.” Lisa grabbed his arm and pulled gently. “Come on.”

Things not to do when the hottest girl in your grade is trying to make out with you in a bathroom: constantly think about someone you have never met, wonder whether they are okay, consider checking your phone while she kisses you. 

“Hey,” Dean said, taking a step back from Lisa. Lines covered her forehead. “I’m sorry but I’m way too drunk for this.” In reality, he had had exactly three sips of beer, but what else was he supposed to say? I can’t stop thinking about this dude I’ve never met, and I wish it was him kissing me instead of you? Lisa was understanding, even suggested he get a ride home. Dean noded. He stepped out of the bathroom already typing. 

***

Castiel pushed through the crowd of people, getting more irritated by the second. All he wanted was a night alone, and instead he got the opposite. He found Anna by the stairs talking to someone he didn’t recognize. For once, Castiel was fine being rude and interrupted. 

“Oh come on Cassy,” Anna said, handing him her glass. “Lighten up.” She sashayed off to find her friends. Castiel’s anger was not gone, but she had a point. Both of his siblings were open to anything and everything. All they had was fun while Castiel was left with the worry. He downed what was left of Anna’s drink and headed upstairs. 

***

The room Dean was in seemed to be the only empty one in the house. He sat on the made bed and typed away on his phone. He nearly had a heart attack when the door swung open. The boy standing in the doorway seemed equally surprised to find someone on the other side. Dean recognized Castiel. His siblings sometimes overlapped with Dean’s group of friends, and Charlie was friends with him too. They were far from having never met, but Dean couldn’t remember having ever said a word to the guy.

Castiel looked pissed off, though whether it was at him Dean couldn’t tell. Then Dean realized that this was the Novaks’ house, which meant that there was a good chance this was Castiel’s room.

“Sorry,” Dean said, standing up. “I needed to get away from the noise. I’ll just be a minute.” Castiel’s expression softened.

“That’s alright.” The blue eyed boy threw the plastic cup in his hand into the trashcan beside his desk, which was lined with mugs full of colored pencils and paint brushes. Castiel stepped into his closet to retrieve something and Dean turned his attention back to his phone. He quickly reread the message, held his breath, and pressed send. A few seconds later, a soft ding came from the phone on the nightstand, but Dean was too busy trying to breathe to notice. He was nearly out the door when Castiel followed suit. “Someone has to make sure my siblings don’t make complete fools of themselves,” he explained. Dean nodded.

Once downstairs, he set out to find Sam, who it turned out was chatting happily with none other than Jessica Moore. Dean caught his eye, Sam gave a quick thumbs up, and Dean headed for the flash of red hair across the room. Charlie grabbed his hand and led him to the basement. Apparently, their group was planning a party game of some sorts. 

Jo came around and handed each of them a popsicle stick, which they took obediently. Before he could ask what was going on, Charlie began interrogating him about Lisa. She expected praise as the best best friend in the world. Dean was saved from having to explain by Bela’s shouts for the music to be shut off. The basement when quiet as all eyes turned towards where she stood in the center of the room. 

“Is there anyone who didn’t get a stick?” she demanded.

“What’s happening?” Dean whispered.

“Seven minutes in heaven,” Charlie answered, rolling her eyes. Dean chuckled. He hadn’t been to a party with this game since middle school. And even then, it was interrupted when Jo’s mom walked in on the straw-drawing. 

“Now we’re gonna take turns because we are civilized people,” Bela grinned. “First up, the two of you with blue ends on your sticks.” A room full of mostly drunk high school students investigated the popsicle sticks they held in their hands. Dean looked down and, of course, saw blue. Charlie was the one that yelled and held up his arm. He couldn’t blame her, normally this type of immature game would be totally his thing. The crowd broke so that he could make his way towards Bela. Beside her, looking incredibly uncomfortable, was Castiel. Dean gave Bela a look that was supposed to imply that this was ridiculous and unfair. That, though, described her favorite kind of game. She grabbed each of them by the arm and they were ushered into a closet to the cheers of the others in the room.

***

The door shut and Castiel was left packed into a closet with Dean Winchester. Castiel only knew about Dean what Charlie had mentioned. And Sam, who he had a few classes with. Come to think of it, they had a lot of friends in common. Gabriel and Anna were almost always in cahoots with Dean’s friends. And now there they were, standing inches apart in the almost darkness. 

Dean let out an awkward laugh and stepped back, taking a seat on a box likely packed with the Gabriel’s old clothes. Castiel followed his lead and sat on a bin marked ‘Christmas’ in Balthazar’s handwriting. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds.

“By the time the seven minutes are up, they will have all moved onto something new,” Dean said. “We just have to wait it out.” Castiel nodded. They continued to sit in silence, the implication of what their predicament usually called for sitting in the room with them. Castiel figured Dean was even more uncomfortable than he was, which was reassuring. Dean was the resident ladies man at their school and gave off that extra macho vibe that screamed no homo. Dean reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a phone.

“You mind?” he asked. Castiel shook his head. He wished he had his phone; everythingaheadofme may have responded by now. Probably not, though, Castiel thought; he was excited to be going to a party tonight. It was ironic that Castiel had ended up at one as well. One where he was locked in a closet with a the hottest guy in his grade and yet could not stop thinking about someone else. Across the small space, Dean sat leaning with his arms on his knees. It would have been hard for Castiel to have not seen the phone screen.

“You play Clash of Worlds?” Castiel asked.

“Um, yeah,” Dean said, sitting up. “Charlie got me into it about a year ago.”

“She introduced me to it too.” 

“She has a habit of addicting her friends to new games, doesn’t she?” Castiel nodded and Dean turned his attention back to his phone.

It couldn’t be, Castiel told himself. What were the odds that of all the people on one of the most popular role playing games on the internet, Castiel had happened to become friends with someone who lived twenty minutes away, who was in the same English class, who he was currently locked in a closet with? Castiel didn’t believe it, and yet, something in the back of his head made him think that maybe it was possible.

“Dean, can I ask you a question?” Dean looked up, green eyes gleaming. 

“It’s our seven minutes,” he joked. “Shoot.”

“What’s your favorite book?” Castiel asked. 

Dean stared at him. A knock sounded on the door. Castiel couldn’t read his expression. Charlie opened the door slowly, and light flooded the space. 

“You guys okay?” Charlie asked, only looking at Castiel. Nobody moved. “Cas?” She touched his arm, and Castiel broke away from Dean’s eyes, knowing what they said and didn’t say. It was over. 

***

“I’m fine,” Castiel said. “Just tired of games.” He pushed past her and disappeared into the resumed party. Dean didn’t understand. It was a common enough question, but as soon as Castiel had asked, Dean knew. But he didn’t believe. Could it really be him? 

Dean pushed past Charlie’s questions and ran up the basement stairs. He spotted Castiel on the staircase with his sister, who was ducking down to listen to him.

“Cas!” Dean shouted as the boy disappeared to the second floor. Anna came flying down to stop Dean from moving any further. 

“Castiel isn’t feeling well,” she said. “He’d like to be left alone.” Her breath smelled of Vodka and her eyes were fierce. Dean took a step back to where the still confused Charlie stood. Before he could say anything, Charlie was yelling, and he turned to see Sam puking into a bowl that had once held tortilla chips. Jess was supporting his weight until Charlie and Dean took over.

“Goddammit, Sam. What did I say?” They helped the younger Winchester outside into the brisk night air then--against Dean’s better judgement--into the backseat of the Impala. Charlie helped get Sam into bed before walking across the street to her own house.

“Sorry,” Sam slurred as Dean sat down on the floor beside the bed. 

“Let’s just not drink next time, yeah?” Sam nodded.

“I owe you one.”

“Nah, I’m your brother. It’s my job to take care of you. You’re just lucky Mom and Dad aren’t home yet.”

“I really am sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean said, standing up. He went to the door and turned off the light. 

“Dean,” Sam said in the darkness. 

“Yeah?”

“Before I started puking, she kissed me.” Dean smiled.

“Of course she did. Get some rest.” 

***

Dean appeared downstairs just as his parents arrived home. John barely acknowledged Dean before trudging up the stairs. Mary explained that his shrimp scampi had not sat right.

“Mom?” Dean asked. “I think I need some advice.”

“What’s the problem?” Mary asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

“There’s this person I really like but when they found out, they didn’t say anything, just ran away. At least I think they found out. We didn’t really say much.”

“Honey, if you really link this person, you need to be clear and tell them how you feel. The best thing to do is put yourself out there and be honest with them.” 

“What if they don’t feel the same?” 

“That will be something you might have to deal with, but in the end, you’ll be better off knowing than always wondering what might have happened.”

“Thanks Mom,” Dean said after a moment. “That helps a lot.” He stood up and headed for the staircase. 

“Dean,” Mary said, and he turned back. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course.”

“Your dad and I both love you so much. And whoever you end up loving, we’ll love them too.” Dean smiled.

“I know, Mom.” 

***

Saturday was spent helping clean the house before Balthazar got home and deflecting Anna and Gabe’s countless questions about Dean. Sunday was spent in his room doing anything he could to avoid checking his messages. By nine o’clock he realized that he could do whatever he wanted to do, including logging into a stupid video game. By 9:05 he regretted his decision.

everythingaheadofme124: look, i know we probably won’t ever meet. you probably live hundreds of miles away and might not even be who you say you are but you’re my best friend. i’ve never met anyone like you, and i don’t think i ever will. every day i wake up and read the words you send me, every night i fall asleep running them through my mind. i feel really stupid saying this to someone i barely know on a game about alien invasions but at the same time, i don’t. this might make things weird and ruin whatever this is, but i think i might be falling in love with you. and i think you might feel the same.

***

Castiel was late to first period, something Dean was pretty sure had never happened before. Cas handed Mr. Shurley his pass and sat down at his desk, not giving Dean so much as a glance. When the bell rang, Anna conveniently blocked Dean from standing long enough for Castiel to hurry out of the classroom. Dean ran after him anyways, pushing through the crowded hallway. He caught sight of raven hair headed into the art room. The spacious classroom was empty save Castiel, who stood near the large windows on the back wall. Offeringmyconfusion had always said that the art room at his school was his favorite place, and Dean was now connecting even more dots. If he had known Castiel just a little bit better or maybe paid more attention, it would have been obvious from the start that it was him.

“Cas,” Dean said, hesitating for just a second too long.

“Those things you wrote,” Castiel said, barely meeting Dean’s eyes before looking at the ground. “That was before we met. I understand if you don’t feel that way anymore.”

“What?” Dean took a step forward, getting more confused by the second. “Of course I still feel that way. Why wouldn’t I?”

“At the party...you…” Castiel looked up then. His eyes were unsure.

“At the party I was too focused on waiting for you to respond to notice anything else, including who I was locked in a closet with.”

“But you didn’t say anything when I asked.”

“I was scared,” Dean admitted, still stepping forward. Castiel’s head tilted in confusion, and suddenly his username fit him even better. “I’ve never told anyone half the things I told you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. When it was offeringmyconfusion26 it felt safe, but when you were really there in front of me, I was terrified that you didn’t feel the same way, that you wouldn’t like me anymore.”

The room filled with silence as Castiel stared at Dean, blue eyes boring into green. Dean could see Castiel’s mind at work, wheels turning and calculator going. How the hell had he never noticed how beautiful this kid was before? 

“Maybe we should start over,” Castiel said finally. Dean’s brow furrowed. They were only a couple feet away now, and the other boy stuck out his hand. “Castiel Novak. I like art, reading, and online roleplaying games.” Dean smiled and shook his friend’s hand. 

“Dean Winchester. I like classic rock and books and working at my uncle’s auto shop.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dean Winchester,” Castiel said as they stopped shaking hands. 

“Castiel,” Dean said after the room had filled with hesitation once again, “I know we just met, but I really want to kiss you.” Castiel closed the distance between them, putting his lips on Dean’s. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and everything felt right. Everything except the bell ringing to tell them that they were both going to be very late to class.

***

Castiel could feel Dean’s hand running through his hair. He smiled against his lips, back up against the side of a locker. So this was what staying after school was like. For two months, they had been attached at the hip at any and every social gathering. They had even gone on a handful of dates (movies, coffee, lunch at Dean’s favorite burger place), which was something Castiel had no experience with. Of course, he had also never made out in a relatively empty school before. His relationship with Dean brought about many firsts.

It was a relationship, wasn’t it? They had never said anything, but Castiel was quite certain neither of them were interested in seeing other people. At least, he certainly wasn’t. And suddenly, there it was. The doubt crept in and distracted him from what were possibly the most glorious set of lips on the planet. Castiel could not stop thinking about Dean’s track record with dating. Actually, hooking up was probably a more accurate description of his history. Castiel regretfully pulled away from the kiss. Dean took a step back with a questioning expression.

“Do you want to have dinner at my house tomorrow?” Castiel asked. 

“Um, sure,” Dean laughed. “That sounds nice.”

“With my family?” The smile disappeared from Dean’s face, and Castiel’s stomach dropped. 

“Like your siblings?”

“And Balthazar,” Castiel added, sadness creeping into his expression. Dean thought about it for a moment, contemplating something in his mind.

“Yeah, that sounds cool.” He smiled. Castiel tried to give one in return, but he doubted it was very convincing. They headed for the parking lot.

***

“What if they don’t like me?” Dean asked in the entryway, voice filled with worry. 

“You already know two of them,” Castiel replied, hanging Dean’s coat up. Dean’s hands would not stop smoothing out the invisible wrinkles in his button up shirt. How was he supposed to eat anything with the knots in his stomach? Sure, he had partied with Gabe and Anna, and he knew exactly how protective they were of their brother. Then there was Balthazar; Dean didn’t know what to expect with that wild card. Maybe this was why he had never really dated anyone before; iit was a survival instinct.

In reality, the dinner went as smoothly as it could possibly have gone. Anna did not interrogate him (he had a feeling she may have been the only one who knew details about their relationship), Gabe was obnoxious but nice (like usual), and Balthazar was like the two of them combined but more mature, which made sense considering he had raised three kids. When he and Cas were left sitting on the front porch at the end of the night, Dean felt it had gone well. Balthazar had invited him back anytime, and Castiel was all smiles. They stood by the steps, knowing Dean had to get home but unwilling to actually move. 

“It’s your turn, you know,” Castiel said, playing with Dean’s jacket. Dean looked at him questioningly. “Do I ever get to meet your parents?” Castiel’s smile was hopeful, but Dean instantly stepped away. 

“Um, yeah,” he said, voice full of fake certainty. “Someday.”

***

Castiel had been moping for weeks. His family was confused by and tired of it, but he was always careful to seem cheery around Dean. No need to ruin their relationship prematurely by letting him see how upset he was. Castiel did not understand. Dean treated him like a boyfriend in every way. They spoke like best friends, saw each other every day, Dean had even bought Castiel a Van Gogh poster for his birthday. But he refused to take Castiel home to meet his family. If Dean was embarrassed by who he was dating, why did he always engage in blatant PDA? They were getting coffee one day in May when Dean asked him over for dinner out of the blue. Castiel had a hard time hiding his shock. 

“The only thing is,” Dean said, looking at the table, “I’m pretty sure my dad thinks I’m straight.” 

Castiel was a fucking idiot. Dean’s parents didn’t know. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact that he was a guy. Every fear he had about Dean’s feelings for him disappeared.

***

When Dean asked his parents if he could have a friend over for dinner, they said yes without a second thought. Mary did a doubletake and, upon noticing how nervous Dean looked, stopped. She just looked at Dean for a moment, gave a reassuring smile, and went back to work. John did not notice the exchange. 

When the night of the dinner arrived, Dean answered the door with shaky hands. Castiel stood on their front step wearing black jeans and a blue sweater. Dean did not move from the doorway. There were no words in his mind. Castiel looked into his eyes, and Dean understood without Castiel having to say anything. This was his out. Dean stepped aside to let him in, doing his best to breathe.

“This is Castiel Novak.” Dean stood uncomfortably in the dining room, where Mary was setting up the meal. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Castiel,” she said, shaking his hand.

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Winchester.”

“Please, call me Mary. John, come say hello.” 

Dean’s father came in from the connected living room and briefly shook Castiel’s hand before taking his seat at one end of the table. Dean and Castiel shared a look. Maybe they could get through the night without his dad realizing, Dean thought, but he knew he was better off telling the truth now than worrying about it for who knows how long. It was not bad once they were all sitting around the table. Castiel added to the conversation once in awhile while Dean was finally able to relax a bit and eat, well, for a few minutes at least.

“So, Castiel,” John asked between bites, “do you have a girlfriend or are you a lone wolf like Dean here?” Dean nearly choked on his lasagna. Castiel did not skip a beat, though.

“No sir, no girlfriend.” 

Sam smirked across the table and Dean kicked him. 

“Oh, well, that might change,” John continued. “Mary and I were highschool sweethearts, you know.” He looked up to see his sons fuming at each other, Castiel smiling politely, and his wife looking at him with a troubled expression. “Am I missing something?” he asked. 

The table fell silent, and Dean wanted to throw up. He saw Castiel glance at him out of the corner of his eye. Sam stared down at his plate. Mary turned to look at Dean, mouth half open, poised to say something. It all suddenly felt very dumb.

“Dad,” Dean said, looking his dad in the eye, “Cas is my boyfriend.”

***

“Sorry you didn’t get to finish dinner,” Dean said as they walked up Castiel’s porch. 

“Don’t worry,” Castiel replied softly. “You can come in if you want.” He gestured to the door, but Dean shook his head.

“I should probably go home.” He reached out and grabbed Dean’s hand, causing him to meet his gaze.

“I know it doesn’t make this any easier, but everything is going to be alright.” Dean gave a half-hearted smile.

“I’ll see you later.”

Dean came home to an empty table still set up for dinner. The sounds of television came from Sam’s room and inaudible murmuring could be heard from his parents’. Dean gave up trying to listen in and headed for his own bedroom. He was in the shower when he was hit by a wave of exhaustion. Still dripping water, he fell into bed. When he woke up the next morning, there were voices coming from elsewhere in the house. Dean walked on socked feet to the top of the stairs, where the words became clear.

“John, where are you going?” his mom’s voice demanded.

“I can’t be here right now, okay? I just can’t.” A hole opened up in Dean’s stomach. He listened, but the next voice to speak was Sam’s.

“What’s wrong with you? It’s Dean, for crying out loud. He’s the same person he’s always been.” His little brother’s words brought tears to Dean’s eyes. “And for the record, he and Cas are both way better people than you could ever be.” He came stomping up the stairs, stopping when he met Dean at the top.

“Sammy…” Dean started. 

“Shut up,” Sam said with a twinge of a smile. “You’re my brother. It’s my job” Dean could only nod as the younger Winchester continued to his room. 

***

When John did come home that evening, after a few drinks and a lecture from Bobby, Dean was sitting on the front step. The teen did not look up when John sat beside him. Neither spoke for awhile.

“Seems like a nice kid,” John said finally, still looking across the street at nothing in particular.

“He is,” Dean responded. “You don’t have to like it, Dad, and you don’t have to accept it. But it would be really nice if you did.” John looked over at his son, but Dean continued staring straight ahead.

“I’m not saying I’m...happy with it,” John said, “but I’m gonna try to be.”

“That’s all I’m asking for.”

“And I want you to know that I love you.” That made Dean turn to look at him. John had never been very expressive about his feelings. “Nothing could change that.”

***

everythingaheadofme124: i think me and my dad are sort of okay???

offeringmyconfusion26: you talked to him?

everythingaheadofme124: yeah, it was pretty weird but we kind of worked it out.

offeringmyconfusion26: that’s great! i’m so happy for you

everythingaheadofme124: i’d invite you over to celebrate but i don’t think we’re there yet

offeringmyconfusino26: don’t worry, i can live without another winchester family dinner for a while. and there’s always my rarely supervised house

everythingaheadofme124: don’t tempt me

offeringmyconfusion26: balthazar’s not home just fyi

everythignaheadofme124: on my way

***

“Dean?” Castiel said from his seat on the other end of the bed, holding his book with a finger marking the page.

“Mhm?” Dean asked, still focused on his own paperback.

“I know you sent that message a long time ago and it was before we met, but I don’t think I ever really responded, so yes, I do.” Dean looked up, confused. Castiel clarified: “I love you.” Dean smiled and abandoned his book, crawling to the other end of the bed.

“I love you too,” he said before leaning down to kiss him.

***

“One more thing,” Mr. Shurley said to his first period class. “This week’s free-write topic: tell me about a book that has influenced you as a person. And notice I said book, not movie or video game.” Half of the room groaned.

“But sir,” a girl in the back row protested, “what if Clash of Worlds really did change my life?”

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak smiled.


End file.
